If you want to overcome jealousy, try these 3 ideas: determine where the feeling is coming from; remember your strength; love the person you’re with more.
Overcoming Jealousy: Summary
Jealousy hurts. It can eat away at the good things around it.
It can arise within from personal insecurities, the shady actions of others, or even past triggering experiences. Whatever its origins, jealousy can strain our relationships and our everyday wellbeing.
Here are three ways to overcome jealousy:
1. Identify where the feeling is coming from. When you’re in a state of awareness, you may notice that jealousy is often fear dressed up in needy clothes. Our first goal is to ask ourselves, “Is this jealousy I’m feeling toward another a result of something they verifiably did, something I’m lacking, or just an internal insecurity?” If someone did something to make you jealous or to question them – there are trust issues – then it’s time to have an open and honest conversation with them. If it’s because you feel inadequate or insecure – the issue may be how you are thinking and what you’re focusing on.
2. Remember your strength. If you’re experiencing fear of inadequacy — you think someone is going to leave you in a relationship even though there’s no real evidence — it often comes from not giving yourself enough credit. A lot of people do more than they give themselves credit for, but never take the time to take in what they do or what happens well in their lives. If you start noticing and taking in the wins, just acknowledging those small daily actions that you’ve accomplished, then you may start to feel better about yourself. With appreciation can come self-esteem, and with more self-esteem there may be less jealousy caused by insecurity.
3. Love the one you’re with more. When someone is fulfilled in their relationship with you, you may feel less insecure. So love the person you’re with. Try not to hold back because of a fear of them leaving; holding back can create distance. Give in to the relationship, don’t give in to fear. The more you both connect, share and care, the less room jealousy may have. You have to lead that giving. Don’t be afraid, be committed.
If jealousy feels overwhelming or is affecting your relationships or wellbeing, a licensed therapist can help. These practices complement professional care and do not replace it.
