Can we live with compassion without practicing mindfulness? Do both need to exist to lead an engaged and present life? Is mindfulness a component of compassion, or is it the other way around?
For years, I’ve strived to lead a mindful and compassionate life. It may seem easy to be kind to everyone and enjoy the beauty of the present moment (or the “here and now,” as some might refer to it). To tune into ourselves, we need to stay open and vulnerable to whatever arises. And yet, the next thing we know, we’re looking for a snack to eat, checking our phones, or doing anything else to distract us.
So, before we go any further, let’s try out a brief mindfulness and compassion exercise.
Mindfulness Exercise
Sit up straight and make sure your feet are firmly planted on the floor. Feel the ground beneath your feet, and focus on the breath. You don’t need to breathe artificially, just notice the breath as it moves through your body on the inhale, and feel the release of the breath on the exhale. Set a timer for 2 minutes, and continue to follow the breath.
Compassion Exercise
Think about 2-3 people in your life who love and care about you. Sit tall, close your eyes, and breathe in feelings of love through your nose. On the out breath, through the mouth, release a wave of kindness and gratitude for the care they provide. Repeat this practice for each person you would like to send kindness and thanks to.
Here are a few questions to reflect on after doing these exercises:
- What sensations did you feel in the body?
- Did any thoughts arise that distracted you from following the breath?
- Did you skip down to this part before completing one or both exercises?
- How do you feel now compared to before each exercise?
Following the breath, being aware of your thoughts, and expressing thanks and gratitude are quick techniques you can practice every day. And on our website are many more exercises you can try out, any time, to deepen your practice.
But there’s a caveat – we need to be willing to acknowledge our thoughts and accept them for what they are. The moment we identify with our thoughts, they become part of our experience, part of our truth, and we lose the natural connection we have to ourselves. In other words, we move upstairs to our heads, and our thoughts are now in control.
As you read this article, we will return to the exercises above to check in and practice the art of “mindful reading.” We will also try out other techniques to give you practical tips for bringing this practice into your daily routine.
But first, we’ll take a look at the definitions and origins of mindfulness and compassion.
Definitions and Origins of Mindfulness and Compassion
Mindfulness
A conscious awareness of the present moment. In its simplest form, mindfulness can be focusing on one task at a time and paying attention to the breath.
Compassion
An awareness of and desire to ease the suffering or hardships of others. A simple example is taking in a stray cat and welcoming it into your home.
With its roots in Buddhism, mindfulness stems from the Pali word sati, which loosely translates to “awareness” or “attention.” But it was not until Thich Nhat Hanh and Jon Kabat-Zinn made their presence felt in the 1970s that the West began to embrace a practice that goes back some 2,500 years.
Kabat-Zinn is known for creating the mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program, which incorporates mindful meditation, body and emotional awareness, and yoga and movement. Building on this approach, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) developed as a form of therapy combining mindfulness techniques, including awareness of the present moment, guided meditation, and breathwork.
Traditionally, mindfulness was much more than being in the present moment, following the breath, and maintaining an awareness of our actions. Instead, it was about living with compassion, living a whole and full life, and radiating love and kindness to all life.
Compassion is central to Buddhist practice, and its Latin root (passio) and prefix “com” literally translate to “suffer with.” Rather than be consumed by suffering, leading to our own distress, those who act with compassion feel moved in their heart to reduce the suffering of others, often leading to a life of service, volunteering, pitching in and helping in the community, and exhibiting unending kindness.
Emory University offers a Cognitively-Based Compassion Training (CBCT) program.
This is a great time to take a break and try out a quick, expansive heart-opening meditation.
After finishing this meditation, what did you feel inside your heart? Did the heartspace feel lighter and more open? Did any thoughts come up that distracted you from tuning in?
Mindfulness can help you process thoughts and emotions, especially when your mind and heart are open to it. Short meditations like this one can help you open up, little by little each day. Over time, you may notice more ease, which can carry into your relationships and your work.
Compassion and Gratitude
As we strive to lead a compassionate life, we can also work on developing gratitude and a loving appreciation and celebration of our dedication and service. Gratitude can help us tune into the present moment and shift our attention away from ruminating thoughts and negative emotions.
Here is a grounding worksheet as you reflect on how gratitude could impact your well-being and mindfulness practice. Many people find that grounding makes it easier to observe their thoughts and imagine sending unwanted energy down into the ground. As that energy clears, the heart may open, the breath may soften, and we can express gratitude for the self-love and self-compassion we cultivate.
To add to the practice, try earthing. Place your feet directly in the sand at the beach or in the soil. When you focus your attention on your feet, it may feel like energy is traveling down into the ground. Many people enjoy earthing as a simple way to tune into sensation, and you can practice any of our mindfulness meditations at the same time.
The Scientific Benefits Revealed
Staying aware of the now can be tricky when our thoughts travel to the future or our emotions take us back to our past. But research suggests mindfulness can benefit our wellness, and we can train our minds and hearts to focus on the present. We can even track the impact of a mindfulness practice by checking in each day to assess our progress.
From 2012 to 2017, the share of U.S. adults using meditation more than tripled, from 4.1% to 14.2%, according to the National Health Interview Survey. Among children ages 4 to 17, use rose from 0.6% to 5.4%. What’s interesting about these stats is that mindfulness is often a solo practice. Yet, families could actually practice together, helping their children develop skills early on.
Moreover, Emory University researchers randomized 70 adolescents in foster care to a 6-week compassion training or a wait list. The groups did not differ on standardized measures after training, but participants reported using the strategies “to regulate emotion, manage stress, or to respond more compassionately towards others,” and more frequent practice was associated with increased hopefulness.
One of the longest-running studies on happiness, at Harvard, found that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.
So, how can we incorporate mindfulness with our partners, our family, and our friends to complement our individual practice? In addition, how can we practice compassion among those we care about?
- Practice active listening with your partner as a silent observer
- Go for a walk with a friend and practice deep breathing
- Meditate together with your partner, friend, or family member
- Savor your food and be conscious of each bite you take
- Give thanks before a meal, even if you ordered takeout
- Go out into nature and tune into all of your senses
The Nexus of Mindfulness and Compassion
To alleviate the suffering of others, we need to master our inner awareness and attention. This is where mindfulness comes in – can we truly recognize the impact of helping and potentially healing others if we are not aware of the present moment? If we are simply engaging in acts of compassion to check off a few boxes or receive a pat on the back, are we living our truth?
So, having a daily mindfulness practice can help us stay grounded, aware, and appreciative of ourselves and our efforts to radiate empathy, love, and kindness to others. We go into more depth on how to practice self-compassion and mindfulness in a follow-up article.
Compassion and empathy can be an impactful combination, but even more crucial is to make sure our own house is in order. That is, we must remain strong and grounded against what could be extreme or collective suffering of humanity. If we give too much of ourselves in service of others, a few things might happen:
- We burn out and absorb the suffering or pain of others
- We no longer have the ability to discern who is suffering and whether they want to be relieved of their pain in the first place
- We experience anxiety, apathy, or exhaustion
Here is another exercise to clear unwanted or negative energy and return to a peaceful, light state of being. This can be done each night to help you settle into restful sleep.
Mindfulness and Compassion in the Workplace
So, let’s say you have a regular mindfulness practice at home. You dedicate 10-15 minutes each day, and your heart opens and your confidence grows. You go out to a bar or coffeehouse, and find yourself more social and more at ease. Even your family notes how cheerful and light you seem.
This is exactly how mindfulness can manifest in your life. And with this newfound presence and calmness, you can take this energy into the workplace.
Now, say, you recently got promoted to manager, and your focus is on coaching and the growth of your team. In 1-2 years, your boss says that you could be in for another promotion if you can develop talent under you. And you know the formula that has worked so well for your own growth. How do you extend your mindfulness skills to develop the talent of your team?
Our mindfulness boosters are short exercises that can support your team’s confidence and focus. If you want to de-stress and leave the office on time and fulfilled, they are a good place to start.
Conclusion: How to Practice Mindful Compassion
Let’s revisit the three questions at the beginning of this article:
- Can we live with compassion without practicing mindfulness?
- Do both need to exist to lead an engaged and present life?
- Is mindfulness a component of compassion, or is it the other way around?
First, If we want to lead with compassion but are not mindful of our energy, we could experience burnout. In other words, our kindness to humanity will not be sustainable in the long run. Second, we can develop our mindfulness practice to create a foundation for compassion. In this way, mindfulness may be a component of compassion, but can also stand on its own.
To boost your mindfulness, compassion, and gratitude practice, check out our Complete Mindfulness Toolkit. Included in this package are the following resources:
- 14-Day Video Course: Introduction to Mindfulness
- 16-Day Video Course: Living with Gratitude
- 9-Part Video Course: Mindfulness of Eating
- 3 Step-by-Step Mindfulness Workbooks
- 200 Guided Meditation Scripts
- 300 Mindfulness Worksheets
