Loving Kindness for Our Benefactor [Audio]

Guided Loving Kindness Meditation for our Benefactor, by Anushka Fernandopulle:

Meta-practice, we’ll start with what’s easiest. And even where it seems to be easiest, sometimes it’s not easiest. So then, we’ll throw in a few other helpful techniques to try to help make it easier.

So today we started with practicing with yourself and then with benefactor who has someone who is very easy to feel a sense of well-wishing towards. And often times, that’s also someone who has had a sense of well-wishing towards us. So, benefactor is kind of a strange word. You probably don’t use it that much in English. But like a mentor, teacher, parent, grandparent sometimes.

And then as the days go on, we’ll actually expand to include other categories so after that we’ll do the friend, of course someone you have maybe you like them, but sometimes you… little issues. Then, we’ll do the neutral person—someone you don’t know that well, you don’t think about them much either positively or negatively. And then finally, we’ll go to the difficult person—so someone who has some sense of antipathy towards or, a negativity towards.

But for now, we’ll stick in the room of yourself who certainly can move between all those categories depending on the day and the one who’s easiest. So, theoretically the self would also be easy, but if that’s not the case, then we’ll start with the benefactor or whoever that one is and then shift to yourself.

One technique that I’d like to suggest today that can sometimes help you to access meta and general and particularly meta for the self is to intentionally reflect on some of your own wholesome qualities. So, reflecting on your own goodness is not a normal thing that we do so much, but it’s really helpful thing to do in general for this practice.

And we’re not reflecting on it in an arrogant way like we’re better than someone else, because of this. We’re just recognizing that all of these have positive qualities. It could be kindness, compassion, generosity, honesty, or integrity, or patience, determination. It could be even more mundane ways of saying it like that we’re a good friend, that we’re caring ___, and that we have certain qualities associated with that.

So, we’re going to spend a few minutes now and if it helps, just close your eyes and try to connect to some of your positive qualities, or own goodness. And if it’s too hard in the abstract, you can try to remember particular things that you did. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. It could be just this small time that you helped someone, or even held the door for someone, smiled at someone.

Look can be recognizing even the broader scope of your life if you dedicate your life to doing good things.

In your mind, this is kicking up some countering samples. You can just collect those moments, and then come back to reflecting to your own goodness. If you’re stuck, you can even remember that you chose go to the nine (9) day meta retreat. It’s actually a very, very wholesome human activity, very good thing to do with your time.

(short pause)

So hopefully this can allow you to access some sense of connection and love for yourself, appreciation for these qualities. So then, having allowed your heart to open this way can begin connecting with your own wishes for yourself. ___ teach one just taking each meta ___ with as much sincerity as you can. It means you’re just letting it go.

Now, be peaceful and happy.

Now, be strong and healthy.

Now, be safe.

Now, live with ease.

Now, be peaceful and happy.

Now, be strong and healthy.

Now, be safe.

Now, leave with ease.

You can continue with those phrases, or many phrases whatever works best for you. And so you can continue with the peace that helps you to connect best with the well-wishing for yourself.

(long pause)

You’ll notice your attention just shifted off. Whenever that’s the case, you can just gently bring it back again with as much kindness as possible and just connect again with your own heart with a sense of well-wishing to yourself. You can always begin again to many times as you need to.

(long pause)

Sometimes people have a hard time connecting with the meta from themselves in this way. So, we can try another technique that will get a little help from our benefactors. So, some people were saying that they have difficulty choosing one, and this practice that we’re offering now, you can actually invite multiple in. So you don’t have to leave them up.

So, you can imagine yourself in a beautiful garden. The garden can have a fountain and all kinds of beautiful flowers. You can get some help from their meta practice by inviting in people who you think have a sense of well-wishing towards you.

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Find more mindfulness exercises related to loving kindness, compassion, and heart practices here.