Most people have a hard time facing their negative side – especially those of us interested in meditation, self-development, or spirituality. We would like the world to be a gentle, loving place, and therefore try to cultivate those parts of ourselves that fit that image and suppress the ones that don’t. Psychologist Carl Jung called the parts of ourselves that we disown the shadow.
The problem is that reality doesn’t really conform to our idea of the world. It is always, uncompromisingly whole, with a positive side and a negative side.
When we refuse to face our shadow and simply “banish” it, we may end up suppressing our creativity and leaving ourselves vulnerable to our unconscious side. Why? Because we don’t know our shadow intimately, so we have no way of knowing how it will appear when it comes up in the form of instinctive reactions. This is why this Shadow Exercise can be very helpful.
We think we are in control of our thoughts until they come back to control us when we less expect it – usually when we are in the grip of intense emotions.
Looking honestly at our negative reactions, when they arise, is essential. While each of us has in themselves the entire spectrum of human emotions, some of them are more prominent than others, and will manifest at regular intervals. That’s a good clue that that’s something we need to face.
Have you noticed, for example, how two different people may see someone completely differently? Life can act as a mirror: we often see in others characteristics that we have in ourselves. These characteristics can be dominant (in which case we are generally aware of them) or dormant (in which case we might not be), but the result is the same. Our mental patterns shape the image of the world we see and influence our behavior in it.
While we have no power to change another person, we have always the power to work on ourselves and see clearly what we are made of.
Facing a shadow tends to weaken its grip. While it will still be there, once we are aware of it, it has less power to knock our good judgment out of the way and take control of our reactions.
This Shadow Exercise is a way to start exploring the aspects of ourselves we don’t like but are not conscious of.
Be aware that shadow work can be quite intense and, at times, difficult. There are things in each of us that we don’t want to see. If you want support with shadow work, look for a good Jungian therapist, who can offer guidance.
