By Fred Kofman
Philosopher and Vice President at Linkedin

“When I hear, ‘I’ve got some feedback for you,’ my brain shuts down.”

It is important to let others know when you are, or are not satisfied with the way  you are working together, but “giving feedback” is never the most effective way to do it.

The reason is that feeling under evaluation is like feeling “under the gun.” It often creates so much stress that it’s impossible to think straight. As David Rock describes in his theory of SCARF, human beings care about status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness and fairness. The typical feedback conversation threatens each one of these, creating a neurological shutdown.

There are three key problems with the standard model of feedback: the goal, the framing, and the language. In the following video, I consider these three problems and turn feedback into a performance enhancing conversation.

Find more exercises related to mindfulness at work here.