In the flow of teaching and practice, certain truths keep returning, simple and profound. They are the gentle guides that help us navigate overwhelming feelings, compulsive habits, and the busyness of the mind.
Recently, a conversation crystallized three of these reminders that I find myself returning to again and again. They are practical, powerful, and ready for you to use this week.
Sit By the Fire of Your Feelings (Not In It)
When a strong feeling arises anger, sadness, jealousy, grief our instinct is often to either get completely consumed by it or to run away. There is a middle way.
Think of your feeling as a fire. Your task is not to jump in and get burned, nor to flee from its warmth. The invitation is to sit by it.
With gentle courage, you can acknowledge the feeling's presence. You can breathe and sense into it without being consumed.
Your Practice: For the next three breaths, simply be near the feeling. Get curious. Notice:
- Where is it located in your body?
- What is its size, temperature, or shape?
- What message does it have for you?
Crucial Tip: If the intensity spikes above a 7/10, gently widen your attention to the sounds in the room, the feeling of your feet on the floor, or the flow of your breath. Return to the feeling only when you feel resourced. This honors your agency and makes the practice trauma-sensitive.
Compulsion is Not Connection
Doom-scrolling, late-night snacking, overwork these behaviors promise relief but often leave us feeling emptier and less ourselves. Instead of judging ourselves, we can meet the urge with mindfulness.
The key is to pause and ask a simple, powerful question: “What do I actually need?”
Often, the compulsion is a misplaced request for rest, real connection, movement, or nourishment.
Your Practice: The Urge Wave
- Name the trigger that starts the loop.
- Take 3 mindful breaths to create space.
- Ask, “What do I truly need right now?”
- Choose one small, caring action to meet that actual need.
For teachers and guides, frame this as a "24-hour curiosity fast" from one micro-compulsion and invite a short debrief.
Let Awe Reset Your Nervous System
During a total solar eclipse, the world grows still, and even the birds fall silent. We don't need a celestial event to access this feeling.
Awe is available in the ordinary: a child’s laugh, steam rising from a morning mug, wind through the leaves.Awe softens our self-preoccupation and widens our perspective, offering a natural reset for an overwhelmed nervous system.
A Short Sequence to Integrate It All
Here is a simple 7-10 minute practice weaving these three reminders together:
- Arrive (1 min): Take 3 mindful breaths. Give yourself permission to keep your eyes open, shift your posture, or stand.
- Sit-by-the-Fire (3–4 min): Choose one current feeling. Practice being near it with curiosity, widening your attention if needed.
- Urge Surfing (2–3 min): Recall a recent compulsive urge. Mentally map the trigger → body cue → your choice. Rehearse one kinder option for next time.
- Awe Scan (1–2 min): Look around and name one unscripted, beautiful detail in your environment. Offer a moment of brief, genuine gratitude.
Dive Deeper with New Podcast Episodes
To support you in bringing these reminders to life, we've just released three new podcast episodes:
What Should You Teach First as a Mindfulness Teacher
- Practical sequencing for early sessions, focusing on safety, choice, and simple anchors. Listen on Apple / Spotify
Allowing Space to Simply Feel (Guided Meditation)
- A gentle, supportive container for learning to "sit by the fire" of your emotions.(Also on. Listen on Apple / Spotify
Guided Meditation: How to Stay Present Longer
- Build your capacity to be with what is without forcing it, with portable cues you can use anytime. Listen on Apple / Spotify
If one of these reminders lands for you, I’d love to hear what shifted. How did you adapt it for your own life or practice?
