By Fred Kofman
Philosopher and Vice President at Linkedin
“Do or do not… There is no try. –Yoda”
Your well-formed request demands a clear response. There are only three clear answers you should accept from your counterpart:
Anything else is a weasel promise that you should reject.
Here are some interesting ways by which people may often pretend to accept your request while in reality not committing:
It is essential that if you get any of these answers you confront your counterpart to clarify the commitment.
When your counterpart tells you, “I commit,” he assumes the responsibility to honor his word unconditionally. He takes on an obligation to deliver on his promise; or if he can’t, to do his best to let you know early take care of you.
When your counterpart tells you, “I decline,” she might still try to do what you asked her, but she doesn’t commit. She does not give you the right to hold her accountable for a promise. It is much better to have a clear “no” than to get bogged down in a wishy-washy “I’ll do my best,” or a non-committal, “Let me see what I can do.”
When your counterpart is not ready to say “yes” or “no” right away, he may:
Find more exercises related to mindfulness at work here.
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Sean Fargo is the Founder of Mindfulness Exercises, a former Buddhist monk of 2 years, a trainer for the mindfulness program born at Google, an Integral Coach from New Ventures West, and an international mindfulness teacher trainer. He can be reached at [email protected]
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