Tara Brach, a clinical psychologist and meditation teacher, gives this talk on learning to listen deeply. She describes a kind of innate violence in our culture when we disconnect from natural rhythms and get addicted to doing.
Learning to listen deeply is about building our capacity to reconnect with what is right here. Often, we are caught up in habitual thought streams and behaviors that keep us from being awake to what is present. This habit of thinking and doing can be an unconscious way of escaping whatever is too uncomfortable for us to sit with, and as we become compassionately aware of it, we may reconnect with what is most present.
Inner Listening
We can begin deepening our capacity to be present by listening to what moves within us. Various mindfulness exercises can support this kind of compassionate, non-judgmental listening, and one simple technique is labeling the thoughts that arise within us.
For instance, when we are practicing some type of mindful breathing exercise, we can note the various intangible forms that arise when our attention runs off, labeling these movements as fear, judgment, aversion, yearning, contraction, resistance, or any other label that fits. As we practice this, we may loosen our hold on these habitual thought patterns, which can make it easier to listen on a deeper level.
Listening to Others
We can also explore this type of presence practice when listening to others. When we are engaged in a conversation, are we listening openheartedly or are we listening to respond? Becoming aware of any tendency we might have to prepare our response while the other person is still expressing their thoughts and feelings can remind us to tune back into the person before us.
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