There are moments when everything feels tight: our thoughts, our breath, even our bodies. We may not notice it right away, but tension builds under stress, uncertainty, or emotional overwhelm.
This is where the practice of softening and steering comes in.
Sean Fargo opens this guided meditation by mentioning the birds he can hear singing outside as he records. He then guides a practice of softening the body, the breath, and resistance, followed by steering attention toward intention, values, and care.
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Episode Overview:
Key Themes Covered:
- Settling into the body and present moment
- Softening the breath and releasing tension
- Recognizing physical and mental resistance
- Observing judgment and emotional distancing
- Meeting fear with compassion and space
- Grounding through physical sensations
- Steering attention toward values and intention
- Returning to awareness through sensory connection
Best For:
- A pause during stressful or overwhelming moments
- Practicing care for yourself and others
- Reconnecting with personal values
- Daily mindfulness practice
Show Notes:
What Does “Softening and Steering” Mean?
Sean introduces two skills at the start of the meditation:
- Softening — noticing where we are unnecessarily holding on to tension, tightness, or fear, and letting it ease
- Steering — guiding intention toward values and care
His plan is to soften the body, the breath, and resistance, then steer into intention, and then flow with whatever comes with a more grounded presence.
A Gentle Arrival: Settling Into the Present Moment
The meditation begins by settling into the body and the space around you. Sean invites you to sense into “the soft parts of our animal body, as Mary Oliver sometimes puts it.”
You might notice:
- The weight of your body on the seat or the ground
- The sounds around you, such as birdsong
Softening the Body and Breath
Next, Sean asks you to notice where you are holding on to tension, tightness, or fear, and to let the body express itself and flow.
You might notice:
- Tightness in your shoulders or jaw
- A shallow or hurried breath
- A sense of holding or bracing within the body
Rather than trying to fix these sensations, you soften around them. Let the breath become gentler, and let the body release what it no longer needs to hold.
Recognizing Resistance in Its Many Forms
Sean names several forms resistance can take:
- Clenching or tightness in different parts of the body
- Quick breathing
- Judging a comment, a person, ourselves, or a situation
- Distancing
- Fear
He invites gentle curiosity toward any of these, and says it is normal and understandable to feel some resistance to life.
Meeting Fear with Gentle Space and Care
Sean says it can help to create a little space around the resistance and hold it gently. He invites you to be here in the body, breathing, “with a little care or acceptance.”
You might imagine making a little more room around the feeling, and allowing it to be there without reacting to it right away.
Grounding Through the Body
To ground the practice, Sean suggests a deep breath and feeling the body on the seat or the ground, resting in what he calls “soft spacious awareness.”
This part of the practice returns you to:
- The weight of your body on the chair or floor
- The steadiness of the ground beneath you
- The rhythm of your breath
Steering Toward What Matters Most
After softening, Sean turns to steering the mind toward what matters most: the habits we want to build, the experiences we most treasure, and a sense of care and embodied presence in our lives. He closes this part with a wish that we be healthy, peaceful, and joyful, steering toward more love and wisdom moment by moment.
The steering step points your attention toward:
- Your values
- A sense of love or care
- The habits and experiences you most treasure
Returning with Awareness
To close, Sean invites you to:
- Wiggle your fingers or toes
- Feel your body on the seat or the ground
- Notice the sounds and smells around you
How to Practice Softening & Steering in Daily Life
You don’t need a full meditation session to use the same two moves. This short adaptation is a suggestion, not part of the recording:
1. Pause
Take a single breath and notice your body.
2. Soften
Release any obvious tension.
3. Notice Resistance
Are you clenching, judging, or avoiding something?
4. Create Space
Let the experience be there without pushing it away.
5. Steer Gently
Ask yourself: What matters most right now?
Then take one small step in that direction.
Final Thoughts
Softening and steering is a way of relating to your inner experience with kindness, awareness, and choice. You soften what is tight and steer toward what matters to you.
Additional Resources:
- Free Training with Sean Fargo: How to Teach Mindfulness With Confidence & Credibility
- Certification: Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification
- Blog: The Rising Demand for Mindfulness Teachers (2026–2030 Industry Forecast)
- Blog: Mindfulness Teacher Salary Guide (How Much Can You Earn in 2026?)
