How to Teach Mindfulness & Meditation With Confidence

Hey everyone, I'm Sean Fargo, founder of Mindfulness Exercises, former Buddhist monk of two years and instructor for the mindfulness program at Google. Here at our new retreat center in Berkeley, California, where we're offering mindfulness workshops and trainings to help people to teach mindfulness and meditation with confidence. Today I'll be talking about how to teach mindfulness without imposter syndrome or fear of judgment. A lot of new mindfulness and meditation teachers are afraid of being judged. They might have imposter syndrome. Like, who am I to teach mindfulness and meditation if I'm not mindful 100% of the time or as good as the famous mindfulness teachers out there? Might be afraid of re triggering people's old traumas. There's a lot of limiting beliefs we have around teaching mindfulness. And so today I'm going to walk you through some practical insights and steps towards teaching mindfulness with confidence, with authenticity, with clarity, so that you can have a bigger impact on people's lives and also further your career, integrating mindfulness or meditation into how you serve your students or clients or the people who you help. And in doing so, you can fully embrace the positive impact that you have on others and you know have a more fulfilling job or career. So today I'll start by sharing a few insights regarding working with imposter syndrome, and then I'll offer a guided practice to help us to integrate what we've covered. So my name is Sean. I'm a former Buddhist monk. I worked at Spirit Rock Meditation Center for over five years, supporting teachers like Jack Cornfield and Sharon Salzberg and Tara Brock. And I took notes and I learned from hundreds of mindfulness teachers at Spirit Rock on how they taught mindfulness. And in my own journey in overcoming imposter syndrome and fear of judgment, I found some practical tools that was helpful for me to be able to make a meaningful connection with people in inviting them to experience their moment-to-moment experience gently, with kind of this caring curiosity, with courage, to meet their experience without judgment, to be fully present, self-compassionate, and resilient. And so today I'm going to talk about three keys in moving beyond the imposter syndrome around teaching mindfulness, including understanding imposter syndrome and how to gently work through it, embracing your authentic self in your teaching so that you can connect more deeply with your students, and building confidence through compassionate action, taking small steps that lead to big shifts over time. So let's start and take a moment to look at what imposter syndrome really is. It can feel like a heavy burden. It's that voice in your head, that inner critic that we have telling you that you're not good enough or that you don't belong, even when evidence proves contrary. Some common symptoms of imposter syndrome are the distrust in one's own intuition and capabilities, negative self-talk, constant comparison to other people, like famous mindfulness teachers out there, sense of anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and self-doubt. And if you're here, you may have felt this weight of imposter syndrome or fear of judgment while trying to share mindfulness with others. Maybe you've questioned whether you're qualified to teach. If so, I want to let you know that these feelings are really common and they're also understandable. In fact, if you didn't have these feelings, then it might mean that you don't really care about the teachings around mindfulness or the practice itself, and maybe you don't care about the effects that they're going to have on other people. For the past 15 years, I've been training thousands of people, a lot of working professionals, how to teach mindfulness and meditation and move through these feelings of self-doubt. And one thing I know for sure is that it's okay to be where you are right now. So I've been there too. When I found mindfulness and meditation, I was amazed at the transformational benefits of the practice. I really started to feel that sense of calm, sense of ease. My heart started to open and tenderize. And, you know, without even telling other people I was meditating, other people said, Sean, like something seems different. What's going on? And my parents actually commented that I was easier to talk to. So, you know, the benefits of the practice are profound. Uh, where I had previously felt a sense of lack or dissatisfaction in my career and life and relationships, I suddenly felt a real sense of purpose and clarity and a genuine desire to share mindfulness and meditation with others. And every time I thought about stepping into a teaching role or helping others to do this practice, I would freeze. The idea of standing in front of others and sharing something so personally profound filled me with anxiety. Like, who am I to teach this? I don't know enough, or I won't be able to talk through the ins and outs of consciousness or awareness. What if people see that I'm not mindful 100% of the time? I'm just Sean Fargo, this, you know, regular guy. And so when I had these self-doubts, I'd end up feeling stuck and disheartened. And I even had this recurring nightmare about feeling like an imposter mindfulness teacher. And this dream was, you know, I was in a grocery store walking around with my shopping cart, and I would turn a corner and I accidentally bumped my cart into the cart of someone else. And that someone else was a famous mindfulness teacher, or kind of famous mindfulness teacher, but it was someone who I respected. And our carts collided, and we looked at each other face to face, and he said, Hey Sean, I heard you're wanting to teach mindfulness. Who do you think you are to teach mindfulness? And then I'd wake up sweating, and I was afraid of being found out, like, oh no, I never want that to happen in my real life. Um, who am I to teach mindfulness? I'm not as good as the teachers who I respect. And I actually avoided grocery stores for a little while. Um and in spite of having, you know, a personal mindfulness practice, I thought I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't ready. So after a few of these recurring nightmares and wrestling with some of the self-doubt, I realized that this was paralyzing me and that it was stopping me from helping others and actually making a difference. So I did something that felt really scary, which is that I started being present with the actual fear itself. I decided to be mindful of how this experience showed up in my dreams and in my subconscious. And this took a lot of courage. But I knew that the pain of not facing my fear was larger than the pain of the fear itself. And I also knew that if I wanted to teach mindfulness and model the practice for others, I needed to practice being mindful about my response to those fears whenever I noticed them. And that meant being compassionate and kind with myself, bringing this gentle awareness to my moment-to-moment experience, not judging it to be good or bad, right or wrong. And so that's what I did. And I started being present with the fear. And I practiced regulating my nervous system, taking mindful breaths. When I noticed thoughts of doubt, I grounded attention in my body sensations, and practiced self-compassion with those feelings. And instead of trying to avoid or forget about the fear, I became curious about it. And little by little I began to understand that these fears were just stories my mind was telling me. Stories I didn't have to believe. And with continued practice, the uncomfortable sensations began to soften and dissolve. And then one night I had the recurring dream again that something had changed. I was in the same grocery store with my cart, rounding the aisle, and it bumped into another cart, and I look up, and it's the same respected mindfulness teacher who said the same thing. Hey Sean, who do you think you are to teach mindfulness? But this time the fear was gone. I actually had the courage to respond. And I said, you know what? A lot of people are going through really tough times right now. They're stressed, they're overwhelmed, you know, there's so much going on in the world. People are stressed, and addiction is on the rise. A lot of people need help. And many of them are like asking for help and they don't know what to do. And I feel called to help them. And I know a few simple mindfulness techniques that can really help. So who am I not to help them? Who am I just to kind of stand by and watch them suffer and not do anything about it? The dream ended and I felt free because I knew that the other teacher really couldn't say anything. I wasn't being I wasn't pretending to be a great enlightened master. I just wanted to help people who needed and wanted help by sharing a few simple practices that people could try to see what worked for them. I'm not teaching rocket science, not teaching Buddhism, not teaching the depths of consciousness, I'm not healing trauma. I'm sharing some tips and tools for how to be present with our moment-to-moment experience and to see what works for them. Whether it's walking meditation, mindfulness of breathing, body scan, mindful eating, anything that can help them to be present, embodied, and self-compassionate. And then I started actually voicing these practices to a few people from this place of genuine care and purpose. I got out of my own head worrying about people judging me and into a place of offering care to others who were struggling. I got into my heart center and wanted to genuinely help others to be present. And then when I did that, it became less and less about me and more and more about the practice and the ways that it actually helps people. And now today I'm able to teach with a sense of calm and confidence, knowing that I'm simply sharing something that's deeply benefited me. My experience isn't unique. Just about every mindfulness and meditation teacher out there has gone through a similar journey where we go from fear of judgment towards actually sharing things from a place of compassion. And I've seen this transformation in others who have walked this path. I've trained thousands of people in our certification program on how to do this with the tools and techniques and structures and trainings to help people do this with a sense of confidence. For me, it was the fear of not being good enough that held me back. For you, it might be something a little different. But at the heart of it, we all share this human experience of self-doubt. And the good news is that we can move through it with mindfulness itself. I believe that when we allow ourselves to teach from this place of authenticity, free from the need of being perfect, whatever that is, we open up to a space where real connection and healing can happen, both for ourselves and our students, where we're able to meet whatever's here, including nervousness, without judging it to be good or bad, right or wrong, can bring this gentle awareness to it, this caring curiosity to what's here. In fact, I'm doing it right now as I talk. So, with that, let's look at the next point that I'd like to explore, which is embracing your authentic self in teaching. Like I said, I've worked with a lot of new mindfulness meditation teachers in just about every sector of society. And most people feel like they have to conform to a certain image of what a mindfulness and meditation teacher should be. They feel like they need to be like Joe Dispenza, Byron Cady, Joseph Goldstein, Hama Choun, Deepak Chopra, and they try to conform to trying to look a certain way or sound a certain way or sound something that's not quite them. But the more they let their own unique personality shine through, the more that their students actually connect with them. And as a result, their classes are not only more effective, but full of more life and warmth and engagement, which leads to a sense of trust, which leads to a sense of courage to actually open up to what's here, whether it's pleasant or unpleasant. And that's because authenticity is really what resonates with people. And a lot of what we're teaching isn't so much through the specific words we're saying, but in how present we are ourselves. So one of the most powerful things you can do as a mindfulness and meditation teacher is to be yourself, to ground into the body, feel your feet on the ground, sense into the heart, you know, what's my intention? To be empathic with the people who you're with, and to invite people to notice themselves what the experience of mindfulness is really like. And this doesn't only refer to unique personality traits that set you apart from others, might even be considered like a quote-unquote problem when in fact it doesn't need to be, like some trait that you might want to hide. But in fact, revealing you know your quote-unquote flaws or you know, unique personality goes a long way in establishing a sense of authenticity. So not trying to suck in your gut or trying to seem like you're holy. You know, I was a monk for a couple years, and I kind of played the monk role a little bit, um, and I also realized that that was holding me back from being Sean Fargo. And that the real Sean was actually much more engaging rather than trying to fit into a certain avatar. In fact, one of my students, Raphael Prabla, shared that one of his concerns was that English wasn't his first language. And leading meditations in English felt challenging. And that, you know, I had helped him work through that and to embody the practice so that even though his language wasn't perfect, he was able to be very effective because we worked through his fears and it allowed him to find the right energy and cadence to have his meditations be super effective. So while it's not uncommon to feel pressured to fit into a specific mold, it's encouraged that you embrace and celebrate your individuality, whatever is unique to you. And your students will appreciate your honesty and authenticity more than any perfect performance. After all, you don't need to be perfect in order to take actions that bring much needed support to others. Which leads us to the last thing I'd like to look at before we transition into a brief practice, which is building confidence through compassionate action. A lot of people hesitate to teach because they lack the sense of confidence. But confidence isn't something you necessarily need to have before you start. In fact, it's something that you can build along the way, one small step at a time. Likewise, people often wait until they feel ready. But the truth is you don't have to be perfectly ready to start. Sometimes it's just a matter of beginning, starting, trying. Even if it's just a little bit to get that momentum going. And then you can discover how ready you really are. And oftentimes it's that practice that really makes you ready. Once you begin, each step is a victory. It gets you that much closer to helping others, furthering your career, and getting to that place that you want to be in terms of feeling fulfilled, doing something really meaningful, and having those offerings of which you wish to see in the world. So I encourage you to start by taking small manageable steps, and before you know it, you'll find confidence emerging as you practice. One of our students in our mindfulness meditation teacher certification, Sophia Sneejana, said that she had done meditation for decades, attended different programs like MBCT and Search Inside Yourself, but she always wondered, can I really teach mindfulness? Can I lead groups? Am I ready? And she said that our certification program helped her gain the real confidence in teaching mindfulness because we asked her to take those baby steps, to digest some simple lessons and teachings, a journal a little bit about what they mean to her and how she can apply it to her audience and make them relevant to the people who she wants to help, and to practice writing it out and practice verbalizing it. And that process, you know, step-by-step process helped her to gain that sense of confidence that she needed to actually put it in motion. So the sooner you start, the sooner that you'll build that confidence. But it is a process. And giving yourself permission to grow at your own pace is important. Permission to meet your fears with this gentle awareness, to practice articulating things, maybe recording your own voice and forcing yourself to listen to it, working through the self-judgment around listening to your own voice, reading what you're journaling, so that you can learn how it's filtering through you, through your being, and see like what's coming out. Like, what am I reactive to? Where are my fears? Where are my judgments and self-judgments? Where do I shine? What aspects of mindfulness, whether it's in like formal meditation or informal practice, or in teaching about the concepts of mindfulness, like where do I shine? Where do I find joy in teaching mindfulness? And so this process of figuring this out by practicing goes a long way in helping us to helping people. And so while we've grown accustomed to working in fast-paced, high-pressure environments, we may be surprised to see that taking a little pressure off of ourselves can actually support our productivity by bringing more ease and spaciousness to our goals and visions. That having more space when we practice, more gentleness with ourselves can bring us more space for our authentic radiant energy to shine through, for our compassion to really connect with people, for our intuition to sense into the right words or the right flow that wants to come out. So that sense of gentleness and spaciousness and ease goes a long way. But if we're, you know, stuck in our heads, afraid of judgment, paralyzed by doubt, then we're kind of keeping that energy within us stuck. And it's not going to come out as good as it would if we allowed that gentle caring movement, even if it feels icky and sticky. So for this reason, I make sure that our students in our program have all the time they need to complete the trainings and the certifications and the practices with lifetime access to everything, including all of our calls that we have with guest teachers like Gabor Mate and Richie Davidson and Byron Cady, so that we can keep growing in our ability to practice mindfulness, to teach mindfulness, and to continue helping others even after we've quote unquote certified. I feel like having this sense of spaciousness and time goes a long way so that we're not rushing towards some external destination. It's rather this like lifelong process of inviting presence within ourselves and others. So please be kind to yourself as you evolve and gain confidence on this path. And let's take a moment just to kind of integrate what we've learned through a guided meditation practice where we're moving through some of these feelings of self-doubt and fear of judgment and meeting it with this gentle awareness of mindfulness so that we can really find the energy and the confidence and the will to step into a role as a mindfulness meditation teacher, whether it's online or in person, groups, with groups or individuals, whether it's part of your practice as a therapist or counselor, life coach, yoga teacher, or neighbor, or parent, or teacher. You know, a lot of people are afraid to talk about mindfulness and meditation even though it's very simple. It's not rocket science. And so with certification training, we'll realize that it's actually far more simple than most people think, and that we have the tools and the heart to be able to share it with others. So on that note, let's just kind of ground it in the body and go through a guided meditation practice in which we're working through some of this these fears and self-doubts. So we can take a few deep breaths. Feel our feet on the ground, our body on the seat. Maybe we can imagine ourselves teaching mindfulness, leading a meditation. Maybe it's part of our job. Maybe we're asked to be a presenter, maybe we're leading a course. Imagining ourselves teaching mindfulness or meditation, noticing what comes up for you. There's a sense of judgment. Feeling like an imposter. Noticing whatever we feel. Noticing how it feels in the body. Most of the energy in the head on the heart, the chest, the belly. Not judging these feelings as being. Good or bad, right or wrong. Just these natural energies that we all feel. Maybe taking a deep breath or two. Shifting our awareness to the people who we want to help. People who may be going through tough times or confusing times. People who would love to feel more ease, centeredness. Care for these people. Maybe we can offer one or two simple practices that they can try to see what works for them. We don't even have to call it mindfulness or meditation. Simply inviting them to bring this gentle awareness to their experience bit by bit. Whether it's pleasant or unpleasant. Together. Maybe wiggling your fingers or toes. Slowly opening the eyes whenever you're ready. Knowing that you have everything that you need to make a positive impact in the world. That you can teach mindfulness and meditation. The world needs people like you to do it. That, you know, being afraid of people judging you for actually helping others isn't a great reason to not help others. And that it's not that complicated. And as long as our heart's in the right place and we actually want to help people and invite them into these practices very gently, that we're probably not going to be re-triggering people. That said, if you'd like some support on this journey with practical tools, practical curriculum that you can use to actually create to quickly create your own courses and workshops with and brand it as your own. If you'd like some trauma sensitivity training in teaching mindfulness, be more than happy to help you. We have our mindfulness meditation teacher certification. You can check it out in the link below. And whether you're just beginning to teach mindfulness or you've been teaching it for a while already, please remember that the most important thing is the quality of your own presence, your authenticity, your sense of care for actually helping others, and everything else follows from there. I hope this has been helpful for you. Thank you for listening. And I hope to see you in our certification program or see you out there in the world or in our new retreat space here in Berkeley, California. Feel free to stop by and introduce yourself. Be happy to sit with you. I have my little meditation mat back there, and we have about 30 different meditation mats where we can all talk about mindfulness and practice together and learn from each other. So again, hope this is helpful for you. My name is Sean Fargo with Mindfulness Exercises, and thank you for wanting to help others be present. Take good care.