It’s a great myth that we should never compare ourselves to others. How would we gain perspective, values, standards, ideas, ambition, or growth if we removed ourselves from our social context? The truth is there are healthy ways to compare yourself to others:
1. Compare for creativity, not looks
It can feel demoralizing to compare yourself to others at surface levels like appearance or outward success. Instead of asking how you can be like others, ask how you are different; compare to discover creative distinction not to conform. Understanding how you are distinct can help you make a contribution of your own. You may find a new creative edge when you start looking outward and asking, “How would I go about that differently? What’s my perspective and how is it different? How could I add even more value in a unique way?”
2. Compare for vision, not followers
Never evaluate yourself on the size of your friendship base or fans. If you do, you may always feel down noticing others have more than you. Instead, look to how others are serving, about how they’re shaping and moving towards a vision. When you meet people who want to make a big difference in the world, it makes a big difference in you.
3. Compare for growth, not achievement
When you see talented people achieving the remarkable, it can inspire you to grow. If you can look at someone who is doing something better than you and it inspires you, that takes humility, and it gives you a chance to learn. If their success threatens you or causes you bitterness, it can hold you back.
