Self-Advocacy

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    Sean FargoPublished January 23, 2016 · Updated March 28, 2024 · 1 min read

    Printable Worksheet

    Self-Advocacy

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    A mindful companion to this worksheet

    Bringing mindful presence to self-advocacy

    Words shape the inner weather of every relationship we tend to. Working through “Self-Advocacy” is an invitation to slow the gap between what arises in you and what you offer to another — and to notice the quality of attention you bring when you speak or listen.

    How mindfulness can help

    Mindfulness softens the reactive edge of speech. By pausing to feel the body, the breath, and the underlying intention before words leave your mouth, you create space for clarity, kindness, and accuracy. Listening, too, becomes more spacious — less rehearsing a reply, more receiving the person in front of you.

    Gentle steps to try

    1. Pause at the threshold. Before responding, take one full breath. Let the in-breath arrive completely before any words form.
    2. Name the intention. Silently ask yourself, “What do I most want this exchange to nurture?” Let that answer guide your tone.
    3. Speak the truth, gently. Choose words that are honest, useful, and kind. If only two of the three are present, consider waiting.
    4. Listen as the receiver. When the other person speaks, soften your gaze and feel your feet. Notice the urge to interrupt, and let it pass.

    There is no perfect conversation — only this one, met with as much presence as you can offer. Be gentle with the moments you wish you had handled differently; they are also part of the practice.

    Mindfulness Meditation: Advocating For Yourself 

    When it comes to our mindfulness practice, we’re often all too focused on external goals. We think of mindfulness exercises as a way to improve our ability to handle the stresses of everyday life. Perhaps we use meditation as a means of cultivating greater presence and awareness, in the hopes that it will help us to improve our relationships with family members, friends, and co-workers.

    While all of these are worthwhile and noble goals to have, it’s easy to neglect our own needs at the same time. Developing compassion for those around us is important, of course. But, we can’t forget to develop the same sort of compassion for ourselves. Our practice shouldn’t be limited to our relationships with the people and things around us: it also needs to improve our relationship with ourselves, too.

    Self-Advocacy Meditation

    When we talk about self-advocacy, we’re referring to the idea that you advocate for your own needs. In other words, the idea is to treat yourself as though you’re just as worthwhile as any other person. Once you begin to advocate for yourself, you’ll likely find it easier to expect others to treat you with the same sort of respect that you afford yourself.

    On the one hand, our culture seems to promote self-esteem and self-worth. On the other, though, we find our society promoting interests that can be quite damaging to the individual. While caring for others and having compassion for all beings is a noble goal, we can’t do this at the expense of our own wellbeing.

    In this mindfulness exercise, you’ll learn to bring the compassion that you feel for others to bear on yourself as well. By the end of the exercise, you’ll settle into these feelings of loving-kindness and begin to direct them inwards.

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