How To Lead A Group Meditation With Safety And Choice

Speaker 1 · 0:00Welcome to the Mindfulness Exercises Podcast. My name is Sean Fargo. Today we're going to be exploring what it means to be a compassionate leader, how we can help groups and build our confidence, teaching mindfulness and meditation and wellness modalities to others. You know, stepping into the role of a teacher or a guide is less about being an expert and more about creating a space of safety and care for others. So today we're going to look at how to manage groups by offering choices and gentle invitations rather than demands, ensuring that everyone feels supported if they feel some overwhelm or if they feel triggered. It emphasizes that a leader's greatest tools are sincerity and vulnerability, which help build the confidence needed for us to share our own wisdom

Speaker 1 · 1:10with others.

Speaker 2 · 1:12Sean, I have a question about teaching group. So I have my first group session practicing. And so my question is Nicholas had mentioned teaching someone, going through the meditation with someone who was not comfortable with focusing on their breath and they're dissociated. How do I manage a situation like that when I have a group of people on a call, for example? I know that there are certain cues that you would say to them, if feeling into the breath is not comfortable for you, then you can use other things. But how will I be able to identify, for example, if someone is actively having a trigger?

Speaker 1 · 1:54Well, with groups, we'll always have people who are not associating with the meditation.

2:01Okay.

Speaker 1 · 2:02Because we're human. I imagine half of us were not associating with today's meditation, like for parts of it, because we're distracted, we're uncomfortable, we're stressed. What does that mean, like if they have an active trigger, as in It is helpful before group

Speaker 1 · 2:23meditation to let people know that if something feels too intense or overwhelming or triggering, that they can back out or do whatever they want or find a practice that they can do separately. That's usually enough. In my experience, even if I don't say that, there's only like a very small handful of styles of meditation that tend to trigger people intensely. For the vast majority of these kinds of mindfulness practices where we're breathing, we're incorporating some element of care or curiosity, simply noticing the experience of breathing, sitting, sensing. Usually it won't be too triggering for people. I've guided thousands of groups in very different kinds of contexts, including prisons, chronic pain clinics. Intense contexts, intense themes happening. And it's very rare that something too triggering has come up in my experience. Noting that people have options goes a long way. And just in how we

Speaker 1 · 3:51talk, my sense is that Stephanie, like, you don't come across as being like fierce and domineering and controlling and intense and aggressive. But like the way that we communicate goes a long way. And it's often how we lead people can feel and they might feel safe and they know that you're not there to harm them. In many contexts, I will actually explicitly say, like, I'm here to help. I care about you. I offering invitations that you can try, see what works, see what doesn't. I'm not here for the money or because someone told me I need to fix you. I'm not here to pretend like I'm someone else. I'm just here because this is meaningful work to me. And these practices have helped me. And I hope that they're helpful to you in some way in your life. How we convey that with our words and our energy goes a long way. But to also just answer your specific question, like what do we do if that does come up in a group context where someone does get triggered or they're spiraling out of control? Like, what do we do? It's usually easiest in a group context. I mean, every context is a little different. There's Zoom, there's in-person, there's sitting in a circle, there's conferences, there's all sorts of group dynamics. In general, in a group context, if we're aware that they're triggered, ideally during the meditation, during a pause or a silence, we can let them know, like, hey, like, it's okay. Like, feel free to get up and walk around and get some water, use the restroom, talk to my assistant, take a break, take some breaths. So every once in a while I do open my eyes and check to see if Katya is waiting to get in, or am I still with everybody? Yeah, I'll just check in. And if I would notice someone kind of going through

Speaker 1 · 6:08a hard time, then I may like speak to that person, but inside the meditation. Do you know what I mean? Like, so if I notice one of you that feels like you're wrestling with something or something feels a little off, or there's a lot of like movement, then I may change the meditation towards a self-compassion practice, or explicitly like offer options in the group, like you know, maybe shifting our awareness to something that feels safe in this moment, shifting our awareness towards like feeling supported by our loved ones, or let's take a couple deep breaths in the meditation itself, releasing pressure, offering options, sensing into what might be useful for that person. Every great once in a while you may hear a teacher say, like, you know, Stephanie, if you'd like to take a break, feel free. Like in a meditative voice, calling that person in a caring way. Obviously, if it feels quite serious, then feel free to just stop the meditation and get help, call for help. We don't have to be soft all the time. We can be very direct and quick to act if we need to. I've never seen that happen, but obviously make sure that people get care. And then part of our check-ins too is we can like say, look, if you have a therapist, you may want to give them a call. If you don't have a therapist, you may want to find one. If you are struggling with suicidal tendency or you want to lash out at somebody, maybe we call mental health hotline together right now. Maybe you call 911, but to not be shy to ask for support or encourage asking for support. Because none of those things hurt. They may not be absolutely necessary, but it can't hurt. And in my opinion, it's better to ask for support and not need it than not ask for support and need it. I called 911 yesterday. Very different context, but I'm usually quick to call 911 because it usually doesn't hurt. So those are some ideas. Again, it doesn't happen all that often in my experience, but those are some things to consider if it does happen.

Speaker 2 · 8:46Thank you, Sean.

Speaker 1 · 8:47Yeah, thanks, Stephanie.

Speaker 3 · 8:49I just want to ask, like I've been doing online meditations, but I want to do in-person one. And with sort of what's been talked about, because I don't have trauma-sensitive training, but is it advisable to have someone to support your group? If someone's having a crisis, like in a group setting, is it good to have someone to assist you in case something comes up?

Speaker 1 · 9:18Yeah. I wouldn't say it's required, but it's very helpful. It depends on the context too. So when I go into prisons, I always go with another person, another co-teacher or assistant who can support that kind of situation, or where one of us is able to support people if they need individualized attention. When I worked in chronic pain, it might have been for insurance reasons, actually. I was always with an MD, like a doctor with me. Well, so for guest teacher calls, I always make sure that the teacher is with me or Jennifer or Jillian

Speaker 1 · 9:59or Sarah May, so that we can tend to people during the guest teacher call, partly to represent mindfulness exercises, but also to provide support. It can be very helpful sometimes. It's more necessary than others if the context is quite sensitive. If I'm teaching like at a community center or a yoga studio or something, like I feel comfortable enough to be able just to go by myself. I wouldn't let that get in the way of you teaching groups, Sharilendar. I would just go for it.

Speaker 3 · 10:34Yeah. It's just sort of a this hurdle to come over.

Speaker 1 · 10:38I wouldn't worry about it for 90% of contexts. I would just go and try it. But if you have someone who would want to go with you, and if it feels easy and simple, then they can't hurt usually if you give them some ground rules or things to look for. But I wouldn't let that stop you if you don't have a second teacher.

Speaker 3 · 11:00Yeah, I know it'd be mostly within the community center or a yoga studio that I would be doing these sessions. I know I've done one, but there was a yoga teacher in there, but it was just sort of a general introduction to mindfulness. So that was okay, but I was hoping to start a more regular sort of continual practice.

Speaker 1 · 11:23Great. Rooting for you.

Speaker 3 · 11:25Okay, thank you. Just getting that confidence to do it.

Speaker 1 · 11:29Yeah, you can just let everyone know, like still sensing into this here because I care about you and want to help you in some way. I'll show a few things. And if some of it helps, great. If not, no worries at all. But in the very least, you're planting seeds and watering seeds and supporting people bit by bit. But yeah, you've been here in our community for quite a while, and I know you have a lot of wisdom, a lot of heart. I think you'll do well.

Speaker 3 · 12:04Thank you. Nice to hear that.