Emotional Validation

    SF
    Sean FargoPublished November 19, 2015 · Updated March 28, 2024 · 1 min read

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    Emotional Validation

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    A mindful companion to this worksheet

    Meeting feelings with mindful presence

    Emotions are messengers, not problems to solve. “Emotional Validation” is an opportunity to develop a kinder relationship with the full range of your inner life — the easy feelings and the difficult ones.

    How mindfulness can help

    Mindfulness teaches us to stay near our feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them. By turning toward what we feel — naming it, locating it in the body, breathing alongside it — emotion becomes information rather than instruction. We learn to hold our experience, rather than be held hostage by it.

    Gentle steps to try

    1. Name what is here. Quietly say to yourself, “This is sadness,” or “This is anger.” Naming brings the prefrontal cortex online and softens reactivity.
    2. Locate it in the body. Where do you feel this emotion most clearly? The throat, the chest, the belly? Rest your attention there with kindness.
    3. Breathe alongside it. Imagine your breath flowing into and around the sensation, neither pushing it away nor pulling it closer.
    4. Ask what it needs. Many feelings simply want to be witnessed. Some carry a request — for rest, for boundary, for repair. Listen.

    Feelings are not flaws. They are weather moving through the open sky of your awareness. Trust that no emotion, however intense, is the whole of who you are.

    Each and every day, we’re faced with challenging situations. Sometimes, the challenges of daily life can bring uncomfortable, difficult emotions to the surface. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in circumstances that make it challenging to acknowledge and accept these emotions for what they are. We tend to downplay them, have trouble accounting for them, and far too often end up attempting to suppress them.

    This approach to handling our emotions and emotional validation can be incredibly damaging as time goes on. Rather than suppressing and ignoring the way that we feel, it’s important to acknowledge our emotions for what they are. This allows us to process them, at which point we can move on from a situation rather than feeling trapped by it.

    mindfulness exercise, you’ll be guided down the path of emotional validation. This technique allows us to cope better with both our emotions, as well as the emotions of others with whom we maintain relationships.

    The technique itself is fairly simple. To start with, you’ll be asked to identify whatever emotion it is that you’re feeling. You can use other mindfulness techniques to help you accomplish this, including the Emotional Awareness Meditation (as outlined in another mindfulness exercise). If you can’t come up with a name for the emotion, don’t worry. Next, you’ll work to acknowledge and accept the emotion for what it is. This involves accepting the feeling itself, rather than struggling to deny the reality of your current situation. Finally, you’ll work to identify reasons for why you’re feeling a certain way, which will help you to better understand where the feeling comes from.

    By practicing these techniques, you’ll be able to better cope with how your feeling. Because you’re not attempting to suppress a particular emotion, you’ll find that you’re able to move past it much faster than you have in the past.

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