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August 21, 2026 · 59 min
Podcast episode
Forgiveness Means Letting Go, Not Pretending It Didn’t Hurt (with Sharon Salzberg)
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Mindfulness Exercises Podcast
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Show notes
What if forgiveness didn’t ask you to forget, pretend, or minimize? We open a kinder door: releasing the grip of the past without erasing it, and training attention so old stories don’t run the show. Through a grounded, step-by-step loving-kindness practice with Sharon Salzberg, we move from caring for ourselves to offering warmth to a benefactor, a neutral person, and ultimately to all beings—showing how compassion can be both steady and discerning.
Sharon's website: SharonSalzberg.com
We start by reframing forgiveness as a shift in identification, not a wipe of memory. Then we teach a simple sequence of phrases—may I be safe, be happy, be healthy, live with ease—and explain why the power lies in sincere repetition. Wandering minds are expected; the core skill is noticing, letting go, and returning. That small return mirrors forgiveness itself: again and again, we choose presence over replay.
As the circle widens, we explore the ease of offering to someone who makes you smile, the surprising depth of wishing well for a neutral person, and the humbling recognition of our shared vulnerability. Life can turn on a dime; kindness helps us meet that truth without hardening. By the end, you’ll feel how goodwill does not negate boundaries or justice—it clarifies them. Remembering remains, but resentment loosens its hold, making room for steadiness, clarity, and a more generous way to move through the world.
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Transcript
Show transcriptHide transcript· 4 min read
Speaker 1 · 0:50Forgiveness is not amnesia. It doesn't mean you know you're wiping the slate clean and that what happened didn't matter. It doesn't matter. Maybe it matters quite a lot. But again, it's a sense of being consumed, overcome, defined by say either our own actions in the past, if we feel we can't forgive ourselves or uh someone else's actions, which we actually cannot change. If you want to sit comfortably again, close your eyes or not.
Speaker 2 · 1:33Just let your energy settle into your body.
Forgiveness Is Not Amnesia
Speaker 1 · 1:49And again, instead of resting our attention on the feeling of the breath, in this practice, we rest our attention on the silent repetition of certain phrases. And since the first recipient is ourselves, phrases like, may I be safe?
Speaker 2 · 2:08Be happy. Be healthy.
Speaker 1 · 2:14Live with ease. Live with ease means and the things of day-to-day life, like livelihood and family. May not be such a struggle.
Speaker 2 · 2:22May
Setting Up The Practice
Speaker 2 · 2:23I live with ease? People always say to me, Who am I asking?
Speaker 1 · 2:31We're not asking anybody. We're gift giving. We're offering. It's like you hand someone a birthday card and say, May you have a great year?
Phrases Of Loving-Kindness
Speaker 1 · 2:39May you be safe. May I be safe? So you can use these phrases or any three or four phrases that make sense to you that are big enough. So you can make this offering to yourself and then to others.
Speaker 2 · 2:56And just gently repeat them over and over again with enough space and enough silence. So that it's a rhythm that's pleasing to you.
Offering Rather Than Asking
Speaker 2 · 3:21You don't have to conjure up any special feeling or emotion.
Speaker 1 · 3:26The power of the practice is in the complete whole hoarded gathering behind one phrase at a time.
Speaker 2 · 3:37May I be safe? Be happy. Be healthy. Live with ease of the Andrew, the skill set is the same.
Speaker 1 · 4:22If your attention wanders, as it likely will, you go to the past, you go to the future, you're all over the place. It's okay. You realize that? See if you can gently let go. Just bring your attention back.
Speaker 2 · 4:35In this case, to the phrases.
Speaker 1 · 5:11Maybe they've helped
Returning When The Mind Wanders
Speaker 1 · 5:12you directly, they've helped pick you up when you've fallen down. Or maybe you've never met them, but they've inspired you from afar. Could be an adult, could be a child, could be a pet. I've often these days used a puppy, actually. Because my friends adopted a puppy, and it's a family, I see they're much happier than they were before. But does tech say this is the one who, when you think of them, you smile. So is there someone who makes you smile? And if so, you can bring them here. Get an image of them or say their name to yourself. Get a feeling for their presence and offer the phrases of loving kindness to them. Even if the words don't seem
Extending Care To A Benefactor
Speaker 1 · 6:01really perfect, they're carrying the heart's energy, and so they're serving us as a vehicle.
Speaker 2 · 6:07May you be safe, be happy, be healthy. Live with ease.
Speaker 1 · 7:10Someone that you see now and then who serves a function in your life. And if somebody like that comes to mind, you can bring them here. You may not know their name, but you could just get a feeling for them and see what happens as you offer the phrases of loving-kindness to them. Even not knowing their story or anything about them. We can believe that everybody actually wants to be happy in the sense of a sense of belonging, a feeling at home somewhere in this world. We're not so different. And everybody, while we don't share the same measure of pain or suffering, we do share this kind of incredible vulnerability. That life can just change on a dime. Look at where we
Widening To A Neutral Person
Speaker 1 · 8:00are, you know, it's so insecure. And so it's in that spirit that we offer loving kindness to this person. And then we're gonna have a gathering, just whoever comes to mind friends, family, colleagues, neutral people, just
Shared Vulnerability And Belonging
Speaker 1 · 8:47see who pops up, puppies. And we'll offer loving kindness to the collective.
Speaker 2 · 8:55May you be safe, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Gathering And Offering To All Beings
Speaker 1 · 10:33May all beings be safe, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
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