What is equanimity meditation?
Equanimity meditation is a traditional Buddhist practice of looking at how we feel about different people: someone we like, someone we dislike, and someone we feel indifferent toward. The worksheet below starts from the idea that much emotional upset comes from clinging to the people we like, aversion toward the people we don’t, and indifference toward strangers who may need our goodwill. Examining those feelings can lead to a more balanced, helpful viewpoint.
How to practice equanimity meditation
- Taking a comfortable meditation posture and following the breath until you feel centered and grounded.
- Bringing to mind three people: someone you like, someone you dislike, and someone you feel indifferent toward, and keeping them in mind throughout.
- Looking into the reasons behind each feeling, asking whether they are about what the person does for you or how they lift your ego, and noticing where ego is involved in the judgment.
- Asking whether each relationship is permanent. Would you still like your friend if they did something terrible? Could the person you dislike do something kind? Could a stranger become a close friend?
- Visualizing the friend doing something unacceptable, the “enemy” doing something very kind, and the stranger becoming close, and noticing how feelings shift.
- Reflecting that everyone deserves equal regard as a human being. You can still use discernment about a person’s character without holding strong feelings toward them.
History of equanimity meditation
In Buddhism, equanimity means a deep state of mental balance and stability, and it is counted among the seven factors of enlightenment. This is a traditional meditation from Mahayana Buddhism, whose goal is to arouse bodhicitta, the mind of enlightenment. Other Buddhist lineages (such as Theravada) and other contemplative traditions have their own equanimity meditations. This version is adapted from How to Meditate: A Practical Guide by Kathleen McDonald.
Cautions
Bringing an “enemy” to mind can be upsetting. If a particular person stirs up too much, you might switch to someone less upsetting rather than getting lost in negative thoughts and feelings.
More Equanimity Meditation
If this worksheet is helpful, you might also listen to:
- Audio meditation of equanimity by Jack Kornfield
- Sleep Meditation: Equanimity by Sean Fargo
- Cultivating Equanimity by Sara-Mai Conway
