Speaker 1 · 0:01Mind and Body. A term that suggests that mind and body are two different things. Or two different places. But have you considered where your thoughts come from and how they influence the way you behave? Welcome to the Mindfulness Exercises Podcast. May this be a source of inspiration and motivation in your mindfulness practice and teachings. Today, we're talking about not just where your thoughts come from, but how they form or misinform you, leading you to treat others in very particular ways. Have you ever met someone and got a vibe? Research shows we get a feeling before we develop an emotion about that feeling. And it's only after that emotion that we have a thought. All of this happens subconsciously, and it changes based on our own very personal life experiences. That's called a bias. And it explains why what we feel and think is not always correct. So how do we know when our information is misinformation? And how do we change it? Today, we cross the bridge to better with Michelle Maldonado. Michelle is a mindfulness business coach for some of the world's most powerful corporations, non-profits, and government organizations, including the United Nations Foundation. In 2020, Mindful Magazine named her among the most powerful women in the mindfulness movement. In 2021, she was elected as a member of the Virginia House of Delegates. Her most recent compassion project is a bridge to better. An open letter to humanity that calls us to action, to wise action. And of course, it's mindfulness that distinguishes the two.
Speaker 2 · 2:16A lot of times, people who practice mindfulness, meditation, or other way, especially if they're new, often consider it or approach it as if it's a siloed event, when in fact it's the way we show up in the world. So mindfulness is a way of being everywhere at all times in all places. And so when we think about it in that respect, having an equity lens filter through to consider what our respective world reviews are, our values and belief sets, and what we believe to be true. And so we look at what we're paying attention to. What are we paying attention to? Well, first it's the present moment. Well, let's peel back that layer of that onion. What about the present moment? The mind, the body, and the external environment. That is in alignment with how we can think of cascading awarenesses, not cascading awareness as a way of meditating, but a cascading awareness as a way of how we show up and navigate the world. And then how do we do that? With attitude, an attitude of kindness and curiosity. And that invitation is so critically important because what it does is it allows for us to move from a space of judgment and certainty and transition into discernment and curiosity. And with both of those approaches, we still have to make decisions, we still have to interact with people, we still have to get things done. But as you can even feel in the weight of the words, judgment and certainty feels heavier and closed, whereas discernment and curiosity remains open and allows us to see what else might be possible, what else might be present. And when we think about things with an equity lens, that is exactly the kind of space we want to be in. Because awareness, the way I describe it, is like three concentric circles. At the innermost center of these circles is you, it's me, it's ourselves. And then we go to the next level, which is others. And then finally, our surrounding environment, which then creates our ecosystems. Our ecosystems are our systems and structures, there are worlds of work, there are communities, there are families. Wherever we are moving, that becomes our surroundings and ultimately the larger ecosystem. And the thing that's unique about that is that centermost circle of self travels through each and every one of them. So it's important for us to figure out where do we start and how do we begin to cultivate that innermost circle in a way that's powerful and sustaining. And my suggestion is that we start here. And there are two particular research studies that I think really help us bring home the concept of why we can build our awareness in this unique and special way. And the first one is a study that was done in Finland around 2013 or so. And what they did was they gave the people in the experiment two silhouettes of the human body, two blank or black silhouettes. And to the right of it, there was a face, an expression, or a video or a word that suggested a particular emotion. And what the people in the study were asked to do was to color in on one silhouette using like the yellows, orange, reds, when they experienced that emotion, where in the body might they notice a corresponding increase in sensation or feeling? In contrast, if there were an emotion where they felt a decrease or a dulling or a numbing sensation when they experienced a particular emotion, to color that in blue. And if they felt nothing at all, it was kind of neutral, just leave it black. So we know what we perceive as something that looks like anger. We know what we perceive as something that looks like frustration, sadness, joy, celebration, love. So that's what's important. We're going to use our own definition sets. But what's good to remember here is that those corresponding physiological sensations sit in the body. So why do we care? Well, this next study tells us why we care or why we should care. And in this one, it was really interesting. This was done out of Iowa State University. It was called the Iowa Gambling Task. And what they did was they brought people into the study and they gave them four decks of cards, two red and two blue. Now, what they didn't tell them was the red decks were rigged. They were not going to win as much with the red decks. And the way to win the most was to play with the blue decks. So they gave them a particular gambling game and they just said, just play, win as much as you can. So people began, and at about 50 cards in, they started to have a hunch or, you know, that gut instinct, like something's going on, something might be a little off. I don't know, maybe it has to do with those red cards, not really sure. I'll keep playing. And it wasn't until about 80 cards in that they got it. Full cognitive awareness, eureka, this is how you win. Those red decks, they're not going to win as much. Play with the blue. Here we go. Now that was really interesting because what that told us is at what point do people on average start to have a suspicion or a hunch? And at what point do they actually know something? Now, the other thing they did was they attached electrodes to the palms of the participants' hands. Many of us know that our sweat glands in our body respond to temperature. So when it's a hot day, we perspire. We're under hot lights, we perspire. All of the sweat glands in our bodies respond to temperature, except for the ones in our hands. They respond to stress. So what they noticed was as people began to reach for the red deck at about 10 cards, the hands began to perspire more, and they reached for the blue and selected blue. So what does this tell us? This tells us that things show up in the body. We have information in the body, and it is impacting, influencing our decision making and our behavior. Now think about this. This was 40 cards before a hunch, before an inkling that something was going on, and 70 cards before there was full awareness. So imagine what that means for some things like unconscious bias, or whether or not we are looking at things with an expansive and broadened lens. There's so much that happens between when it shows up in the body and when it shows up as a full awareness thought in the mind. So we can take that information from this study and from the last study to begin to create what I call our own body map. So what we know is that if we can experience and practice bringing our awareness to the body periodically throughout the day, knowing, for example, when I get stressed, my shoulders get really tight and my jaws get tight. I clench my jaws. So periodically throughout the day, I check in to see are my jaws clenched, are my shoulders tight? And then if they are, I just kind of shift and give myself a little bit of release because it hasn't even made it to my brain yet. Oh, you're stressed, you're having a hard time with this thing or whatever. My body has already reacted. So I create a habit to check in with my body in the areas that I know where I hold stuff.
Speaker 1 · 9:55Let's take a mindful pause here to check in with our own bodies. There's so much to be aware of: breath, posture, a sensation of tightness, or a feeling of spaciousness. And as we've just heard, the body is capable of reacting to our environment long before the mind does. So if we are unaware of what's happening in the body, when the mind finally comes online, is it responding to our direct experience or reacting unconsciously to some stored physiological memory? This conflict we sometimes experience between body and mind makes us interpret our experience and perceive the world in a very particular way.
Speaker 2 · 10:56So we've looked at the body and we've seen how things that show up in the body can impact our decision making and behavior, but it's not the only thing that happens. The brain is constantly processing paradox. And so when I talk about paradox, I use this definition from Merriam-Webster Dictionary. And a paradox is simply something that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense. And if you think about that, the brain is constantly trying to do sense making and making sense of paradox. Now, when the brain is doing that, it is also leveraging its natural predictive nature. And what we know is that the brain is a predicting organ. And some of you may be familiar with the work of Regina Polly and her really robust article on the predicting brain. And she so nicely explains this for us so we can grasp this concept. And that is that the brain non-consciously predicts what is most likely to happen and sets in motion perceptions, emotions, behaviors, and even interpersonal responses that it believes is best adapted to what is expected. Now, all of that happens behind the scenes before anything even happens. And then the brain uses past learning as the guide for what to expect in the future. And then we live the future we expect. Because of prediction, our present experience and responses are shaped by the past. So what I often say to people is when you have a situation where somebody, you think of somebody a certain way, whether you think they're the best thing since sliced bread or you think that they are just awful, you'll be right. Because your brain's going to be looking for evidence to prove that you are right. Now, here's what happens though. The brain is predicting every few moments the future. So imagine that how important that is for us. Because if the brain had to react its way through the day, we would be in a lot of trouble if we waited and then the brain waited for things to happen and then tried to take action. The brain does this out of self-preservation, out of efficiency, all kinds of things. And it predicts to provide also not just efficiency, but speed. And it continuously operates in this perception-action cycle. Now, the challenge is that predictions can alter perception. And perception and prediction are based on the narrow data set of what we call our life experience. So if we have not had an experience, the brain is going to do its best to guesstimate what the outcome might be, but it is heavily informed and influenced by what's happened to us up until that point in our lives. So that means things like trauma, our celebrations, our challenges. The special unique thing, and reason why I bring out the trauma piece, is because when we think about showing up in our way of being, in our contemplative practices, and the infusion of equity and an expanded worldview, the trauma plays a significant role. And trauma is relative. We all have our own traumatic experiences. So there's the individual, there's collective, and then there's also intergenerational. And all of that sits within us and between us, amongst us, in the ecosystems in which we live. And when we pull that all together with the research that tells us that stuff happens in the body and influences our decision making and behavior before we're even aware, we can see how all of that is ripe for the context and the moments where unconscious bias and behaviors like microaggressive behaviors can show up.
Speaker 1 · 15:01What occurred just now in the body when you heard the words unconscious bias or microaggressions? Did you automatically think that's not me? Was there a tightening, a negative reaction? Or can you feel into the space of mindful curiosity? Recall that it's curiosity that transforms judgment into discernment. If prediction alters our perception, as Michelle mentioned, it's the ability to remain open to surprise and the unexpected that can free us from unconscious response. So as we dive more deeply into the topic of unconscious bias, let's turn toward this subject with a lens of equity and the intent to become the bridge.
Speaker 2 · 16:09So let's first kind of understand what we mean when we talk about unconscious bias. I love to borrow this definition from the University of San Francisco's Office of Diversity and Inclusion. And they describe unconscious bias as social stereotypes that we hold about certain people that form outside of our consciousness, our conscious awareness. Now, the thing about unconscious bias that sometimes makes people uncomfortable about it is they feel like, but that's not me. I mean, I don't think that way. I don't ever say that. I would never say that. And therein lies the rub. The fact in its very name that it's called unconscious bias means we're not aware of it. So sometimes what we find in this, if we ask people, what are the three departments or teams that nobody wants to deal with? And the three that come up every single time are HR, IT, and legal. Nobody wants to deal with them, right? Because we have otherized them. They are not in our group. And my gosh, whenever we have to interact with that group, it's pretty painful. And even depending on what groups you work with, they might be a little different, but those often come up all the time. So when we do that, that is othering. That is called breaking. And we do it with sports teams. Sometimes, you know, if there's a football game on or a basketball game or a baseball game or even soccer, and the key player for the opposing team gets injured. And you're like, yes, you know, now we've got a chance, right? We do this all the time in very simple things, but we also do it in very big things. So we have to be aware that the beauty of the contemplative practices that strengthens our muscle of awareness helps us be able to be skillful in catching that. Sort of something happens, and then that next second, those next few seconds is the moment that space in between where we get to choose. But if we haven't primed the pump to even know to check in after that activation or stimulation or trigger, then we just go straight to reaction and not response, not skillful response. And so the piece that then extends to the equity lens is what is it that I'm assuming? What is it that I am asking, saying, doing, or not saying, not doing.
Speaker 1 · 18:43None of us are immune to this habit of othering, of breaking, of dividing ourselves and others into teams or sites. As Michelle points out, we do this in small ways, and perhaps in big ways too. And if we have a steady mindfulness practice, we're more likely to notice when we slip into this othering behavior. Priming the pump, as Michelle says. This shows the importance of maintaining a curious state of mind in each moment of our lives. And not only when we're engaged in mindfulness practice. We might begin with body mapping. As Michelle described earlier, body awareness can alert us to our assumptions before the conscious mind becomes aware. The practice could be as simple as questioning, moment by moment. What am I assuming? And is it true? It might entail a deeper listening to the experience of others. And when we notice an assumption, a moment of othering, do we follow that awareness with wise action or no action at all? For it's up to us to become aware of our own biases, but also aware of how our reaction, action, or inaction impacts others and the world around us.
Speaker 2 · 20:35So I like to borrow a lot from John A. Powell's work from the Othering and Belonging Institute. Some of you may be familiar with his work. The former name of the Institute was the Haas Institute out there in California. And he talks about breaking is the othering. It's a generalized set of common processes that engender marginality and group-based inequality across any of the full range of human differences. And here's the thing that I always saying to people, and we know this in our contemplative communities, that we are one. We are not just connected, but we are interconnected and interdependent. So when we stop talking about breaking, what I remind people is that the opposite of breaking is not saming, it's making people feel like they belong. So that difference and sameness are equal on the path and road to oneness. One is not better than the other, and they are both important. I was having this conversation earlier today with someone, and I was explaining the example of don't look at these things, just look at what you have in common because we're all human. And that is true. And what also is true is that my differences give me a different experience in this life journey. So when we move from breaking and create the belonging, then we have a path that brings us together. And we can only be responsible for our parts. You know, one of the things in the Bridge to Better guide that we wrote is that silence is enabling. Silence in action, all those things are enabling. And this isn't just about race, but I'll give an example because it's so palpable in our communities right now. But there is such a thing as being anti-racist or just not racist. There is a distinction. It's like the distinction between empathy and compassion. We say that compassion is empathy in action. Anti-racism is not being racist in action. And that's what we have to do. We have to sort of do our self-inquiry, our self-assessment, and then be in conversation with one another as we peel back the layers, and some of the layers hurt to peel back.
Speaker 1 · 22:48Peeling back the layers of mindfulness sometimes hurts. Especially when we're doing this deep inquiry, which asks us to face head-on how our own unconscious bias and microaggressions impact others. As you do the work to apply your mindfulness practice in the world to better relationships and build connections.
Speaker 2 · 23:41There is a wonderful paper by Daryl Wing Su, who's a psychology professor at Teachers College at Columbia University, and he talks about microaggressions as the everyday subtle intentional and sometimes unintentional interactions or behaviors that communicate some kind of bias towards historically marginalized groups. Now, I will say that microaggressions can be intentional or unintentional, he says here, but a lot of times the microaggressions, just like the unconscious biases, they're unintentional and we're not really aware that we're doing them. And the reason we want to cultivate that inner awareness that's fueled by our contemplative practice is because if we're not careful and we don't sort of become aware, disrupt, and mitigate the impact of our biases, they then take the next level expression of microaggressions in many circumstances. They also are fueled by our blind spots, they reinforce force privilege. And when I say privilege here, I mean all kinds of privilege, not just the standard ones that kind of make it as taglines in the news. What is defined as privilege is so varied. And then it can also undermine our attempts at inclusion and belonging. So it's really important for us to be aware. Now, the first thing I want to say is I want to break this myth that comes in the very name of microaggression. The myth of the micro. So we look at, oh, it's just this little annoying thing. Actually, there's nothing micro about microaggressions. Now, if you are the subject of microaggressions, you may have experienced 10 microaggressions in the same day by different people or even by the same. So for you, there's nothing micro about it. You're constantly experiencing it. And so I'm going to go through a couple of examples of what Daryl Wing Su explains as microaggressions. And when we do, he provides context for it, and then also what the message is by the receiver. And here's the guiding thing I'm going to suggest for you to consider when we're talking about these things. Intention doesn't always match impact. We know this. We've had experiences where we're like, yo, I didn't intend that. That wasn't what I meant to do. But yet people are judging us based on the impact we had to them or others. We want to be judged based on our intention, but we often judge other people based on impact. The other thing is that we're not going to get it right. And as we go through the examples, you may even recall a circumstances or experiences where you said these things or what people have said them to you. And it happens all the time. So just like unconscious bias with microaggressions, we all kind of do them. And we also have an obligation to root them out, to become aware. None of these things will be eradicated because we're human. We are human. But if we can do our part to recognize when they happen, when we commit them, so that we can speak up, correct, mitigate as appropriate, we can do miraculous things.
Speaker 1 · 27:03And the resulting microaggressions because we are human. What can we do then? We can at least get better at noticing, observing, witnessing, and quickly correcting and apologizing for our transgressions. Remember, mindfulness is not about perfection. It's about becoming more authentically human. Accept your goodness and your intention to build bridges. But also recognize there's still work to do. This is an ongoing process. So breathe deeply and listen as Michelle shines a light on some common blind spots.
Speaker 2 · 27:57So let's take a look at a couple of examples. So here's a common one that he uses. I'm not racist, I have black friends, or I have Asian friends, or I have, you know, Latino or Latinx friends. So here's the context that he gives. When we hear that, there's a denial of our own potential sort of racism and racial bias that we naturally have within us. So the message is I'm immune to certain racism because I have friends of color. Like I couldn't possibly be racist. I have a black friend or I have a Latino friend or what have you. And I'm going to give you a real life example of how you can have friends in the BIPOC community or even relatives in the BIPOC community and still have racist tendencies or behaviors and not even knowing. So my mother is multicultural and she's very fair. So oftentimes people will use this term past white privilege, which means she can move about circles of white people and people don't know that she's black. My father is dark complexioned. And many years when I was growing up, people thought they were an interracial couple. After a while, my parents divorced, and my mother's second husband was a white man who didn't know she was black. I don't know how it never came up, but it didn't come up until she introduced him to her children. That would be me and my older sister. He was not very happy. He still married my mother, but when my parents divorced, my father had custody. But we would go down to Texas where they moved and visit them. And he would say things to me and my sister, like, if these were the good old days, you would be my slaves running around. He didn't think anything was inappropriate with that. He thought it was a joke, it was funny. And my mother obviously had issues with that. But he was like, No, I'm not racist. I married you. Like the kids are here, and everything is fine. So sometimes we are very intentional and we Intend to be disruptive and offensive, and other times we just think it's okay. So we can be both. Here's another one. Where are you from? The context is you're not from here. You must be somebody from a different place, different country. You are not American. And this happens quite a bit. This happens in two ways, in particular, that I've noticed. One is if somebody has physical characteristics that don't align with your definition of what an American looks like, you may get that question. We see that a lot with people who are in the Latinx community or Asian community that may have been here for longer than you've been here, their families may have been here, and yet they still get asked the question. Now, the other way it happens is if you do look like somebody that would be here, but you do something that makes them think that doesn't fit a definition of a black person or a whatever person. And I'll give you an example how this comes up. My family, the our original language is Portuguese, but I lost it long ago. And when I was 13, picked up Spanish and became very fluent in Spanish. When I moved to New York, I often moved about and worked in communities where Spanish was the primary language. And one day, outside my dorm building, a complete stranger was standing on the street, heard me talking to somebody in Spanish, somebody who needed directions and wasn't sure where to go. So I was letting them know how to get to where they needed to go. And the person came up to me and said, Where are you from? And I was like, Massachusetts. And they said, No, no, no, where are you really from? And I said, I'm from Massachusetts. And they said, There's no way you speak Spanish, you what have you. And I was like, nope, I'm from here. So his explanation was he was just curious. But the question we have to ask ourselves is, why is that a curiosity? There is something underneath that suggests potentially that something doesn't fit your definition that then fuels the repeated question of where are you from? Because I can promise you, if you're asking that question of that person, that person's heard it before, and maybe a couple of times that day. Here's another one that's very common. I don't see color. We're all human. I don't believe in that. I don't see color. That context is colorblindness. And just as I shared before, that that's a denial of racial or cultural experiences and beingness. Because unfortunately, in our society, in our country, your skin color impacts the experiences you have as you navigate through this beautiful world that we have. So that's one. The other one is well, I'm sorry you had a hard time, but you know, your skin color, your language difference, your religious beliefs as expressed in the way you dress, or that has nothing to do with anything. If you just work hard enough, you're fine. And that's the myth of meritocracy that doesn't acknowledge that disabled people, women, people of color, very sort of marginalized groups are disadvantaged in certain ways based on who they are. We already know this from the science, from the research, that these things are statistically proven. But when we say things like that, we deny that. And here's my favorite. So anybody ever see the Jetsons growing up? It was one of my most favorite cartoons in the entire world. I watched it religiously as a child, and so did every single one of my friends. But here's what I noticed as a kid, but I didn't know what to make of it is that there was nobody in the future that looked like me, that looked like my father, that looked like my cousins, that looked like my Asian friends, or my friends who spoke Spanish, or my friends who are Muslim. There was none of us present. We were all drinking in the implicit message that only white people belonged, that only white people had the positions of authority and power and family, all these things. No one had to say to me, you don't get to do that, Michelle, because all the cartoons I watch told me. Just as it did with all my other friends. These are macro level microaggressions and they're environmental. They say you don't exist. Now, when we take all of those things and we put it into the context of intersectionality, it begins to beg a question. When we talk about what intersectionality is, I like to borrow it from the work of Kimberly Crenshaw, who's a law professor. She coined this phrase in the late 80s. She used it primarily looking at gender differences and women's rights. And it has since over the last couple of years been expanded to include all kinds of things. But what I like about it is its root sort of notion around intersectionality as a complex coexistence of factors that describe how our overlapping or intersecting social identities relate to societal and institutional systems and structures. So systems and structures, institutional systems and structures, that's the ecosystem that we were talking about at the top of our time together. And all of those get impacted by our identity. And it's not just the identity we give ourselves, it's also the identity labels that other people give to us, whether or not that's how we identify ourselves or not. And this is just simply part of the human journey. How do we become more aware? How do we cultivate the nature and quality of our presence and our impact with intention, with eyes wide open and with continuous kind of curiosity and assessment and reassessment and self-compassion and compassion for others because none of this is easy. I always say this is simple but not easy, but it's so worth it. There is a saying at a local running shoe store, it's called the running store, I think. And it says, I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it. And that's how I feel about this work and why it's so important because, quite frankly, what happens to one of us happens to all of us.
Speaker 1 · 36:30What a beautiful reminder to end on. We've circled back to this concept of the three concentric circles of awareness. There's you, others, and your surrounding environment. And with awareness, we can see how our personal identities are impacted by others, by our ecosystems, and vice versa. We too have a role to play in how we view others and the environment around us. Our mindful practice is deeply personal. It's for us. But also, our awareness and continued awakening has the potential to greatly impact the world around us. If we act upon what it is we notice. So let's close today by bringing awareness to how the body feels now, how the heart feels. May we carry this feeling with us. Move through our experiences with greater curiosity and compassion. And may our mindfulness practice guide us to wise action. So we may each become a bridge to better. Thank you for joining us here and for your interest in mindfulness and building bridges. This episode is a brief version of our full presentation Michelle gave as part of our mindfulness teacher training program. You can learn more about that program by visiting teach.mindfulness exercises.com. Find Michelle and read her open letter to humanity at abridge number two better.com.
