A note from Sean
When a situation calls for a boundary, I ask whether we can be strong and caring at once. Not just a strong back and a soft front, but a strong back and a strong front. Not an angry front. Not a mean front. A strong one.
Try this today. Think of one conversation you are putting off. Stand up and feel your feet and the length of your spine. Ask, “What would the strongest, kindest version of me do?” Take three breaths as that person and notice how your shoulders and chest hold. Then say your first sentence out loud, once.
Keep going: 8 Mindful Tips for Difficult Conversations and Confidence Building.
This suits anyone facing a raise conversation, a boundary, or an appointment they dread. If the person involved has hurt you, or fear rises fast, go gently. Stop when you need to.
Here’s a Sample of the “Feeling Strong and Confident” Guided Meditation Script:
The Strong YouThis exercise offers a way to deeply reconnect. Although it is not a traditional mindfulness practice, you can use it to remember who you are, especially when you forget. Sitting in a comfortable posture, close the eyes and take a few deep breaths through the nostrils. Imagine yourself in a difficult situation.It may be something coming up that is bringing some fear or anxiety or something you went through in the recent past. Recognize any fear or aversion that is present as you bring this event to mind. Maybe you want to ask for a raise, need to have a difficult conversation with a loved one, or have an upcoming appointment that is bringing some worry.
Rather than playing out the story in your head, ask yourself what the strongest version of yourself would do and how they would handle it.Picture your strong self handling the situation with complete kindness, care, mindfulness, patience, and wisdom.As you visualize this situation in your head, make special effort to notice the strength within you. Allow yourself to feel strong and confident. When you begin doubting yourself, return back to the strong you. Reconnect with your intentions of wisdom and compassion in the face of difficulties.
