Recognition and Care for Those Who Frustrate You

Humans are social creatures, which can be beautiful when we all get along.

Other times, people can cause us harm or push our buttons.

The heart builds a barrier, closing itself off slightly in order to protect us and ensure our safety
and happiness.

Instead of closing the heart, you can open the heart and train it to respond with care for those
who frustrate you.

This is a practice in loving-kindness and recognition of the harm caused.

As you close the eyes and settle into a comfortable meditation posture, bring loving-kindness to the mind and body.

Without straining, allow yourself to gently settle into present-time awareness.

Bring somebody to mind whom you find difficult.

If it is your first time using this exercise, try choosing somebody who’s just mildly challenging.

It may be someone who pushes your buttons or whom you find frustrating for some reason.

Reflect on the fact that this is a person who is subject to the emotional experiences of joy, love, sorrow, and grief, just like you.

Start by picturing the person with a smile across their face.

Begin offering a few phrases of appreciative joy, remembering that the intention with the
practice is to open your own heart to care for this person’s happiness.

Use these phrases:

May you be happy.

May your happiness continue.

May I be happy for you.

After a few minutes, imagine this person experiencing pain or sorrow.

Notice any response in your mind or body as you do so.

Begin offering a few phrases of compassion for this person’s difficulties.

It is okay if you do not feel these phrases entirely.

Offer them as much as you’re able to in this moment.

May you be free from suffering.

I see your pain.

I care about your pain.

Finally, bring to mind what it is that you find difficult about the person.

Tune in to the response of the mind and body as you bring the difficulty up.

Respond with a few phrases of compassion for yourself, setting the intention to care for the
unpleasant experience.

May I be free from suffering.

May I see my pain clearly.

May I respond with compassion.