What happens when you feel apart and disconnected from others? When you feel alone, what do you do?
1. Get interested in others. Ask others questions and engage in their life. In being present with them, you’ll feel more connected and so will they – soon they’ll want to hang out more. Challenge yourself to reach out and bring your best self to social interactions.
2. Plus-1 your interactions. Bring just one more person out with you, for lunch, to the movies, etc. Enlarge your social sphere by adding just one person more and the odds increase that you’ll find someone to connect with.
3. Be more explicit about what you want, need, dream of. We feel lonely because we don’ think people understand – and they probably don’t because we haven’t authentically and consistently expressed ourselves and our real thoughts and dreams. Don’t hope people understand, help them understand.
4. Be honest with yourself and others. Why are you dissatisfied? If you don’t know the answer to that, get some help – a counselor or coach. Have real conversations with people about your feelings and needs.
The world doesn’t see a lonely person and say, “Let’s hang out.” It takes the lonely person to have the courage to say, “Here I am. I want to engage again.” Challenge yourself to serve more, to share your voice. to connect, to be satisfied, to cheer yourself on even in the times of darkness.
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Sean Fargo is the Founder of Mindfulness Exercises, a former Buddhist monk of 2 years, a trainer for the mindfulness program born at Google, an Integral Coach from New Ventures West, and an international mindfulness teacher trainer. He can be reached at [email protected]
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