1. Don’t enter the conversation with your current emotions. When you’re upset or want someone to change, it’s easy to enter the conversation in a bad emotional place. Don’t do that. Remember, conversations are a 50-50 game; it’s as much about the other person as it is you. Take a breather, get perspective, and always enter a tough conversation with humility and kindness.
2. Begin with the end in mind. How do you want the other person to feel at the end of the conversation? What do you want them to believe or do? How do you want to feel and be perceived? Keep your answers in mind, and you’ll be more intentional and effective during the conversation.
3. Use the XYZ pattern for making requests. Say something like, “I saw or heard you do X, I felt Y and my request is Z”. The pattern ends with a request to talk openly about what you saw and felt. Asking permission to talk about it says you’re open and non-accusatory.
4. Be more patient. When you are sharing bad news or delivering a difficult message, take it s-l-o-w. Be patient and allow the other person to feel, to speak, to let your message sink in. Don’t dump your feelings out on them or seek a hasty resolution. Almost all problems in difficult conversations come because someone is impatient. Breathe. If the relationship is important, then it’s important to be patient.
If you follow these 4 ideas, you will start to have more meaningful conversations and great relationships that lead to what we call #TheChargedLife!
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Brendon Burchard is one of the most watched personal development trainers in the world, and a Top 100 Most Followed Public Figure on Facebook. Over 50,000,000 people watched his videos in the last 12 months, more than 30,000,000 see his posts every week on Facebook, and 600,000-plus students have completed his online courses or video series, making him one of the most successful online instructors in history. A #1 New York Times, #1 Wall Street Journal, and #1 USA Today bestselling author, his books include The Motivation Manifesto, The Charge, The Millionaire Messenger, and Life’s Golden Ticket. Brendon is also the star and executive producer of the #1 self-help solo series on YouTube, and his podcast The Charged Life debuted at #1 on iTunes.
After suffering depression and surviving a car accident at the age of 19, Brendon began asking himself important life questions: “Did I truly live today? Did I love? Did I matter?” His intention to be happy with the answers led to his breakthrough and life’s work helping others “live a fully charged life.” By the age of 32, he became a #1 bestselling author and a multimillionaire as an early pioneer in the online education space. Since then, he has dedicated his life to helping others find their charge, deepen their motivation and strength, and share their true voice with the world.
Larry King named Brendon “one of the top motivation and marketing trainers in the world.” SUCCESS Magazine named him as one of the Top 25 Most Influential Leaders in Personal Growth and Achievement, along with Oprah, Deepak Chopra, Joel Osteen, Wayne Dyer and more.
Meet him at Brendon.com.
ABOUT THE CHARGED LIFE
The Charged Life is a weekly self-help show full of #motivation, #inspiration, and #high performance strategies with bestselling author, motivational speaker and High Performance Academy founder Brendon Burchard. Filmed in one take, without any notes or prompter, the show has become one of the most viewed direct-to-camera self-help series in the history of Youtube. It has also been the #1 Podcast in all of iTunes and is regularly in the top podcasts in Self-Help and Health categories around the globe. Subscribe to the free motivational podcast here: https://itun.es/i66Y78r
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Sean Fargo is the Founder of Mindfulness Exercises, a former Buddhist monk of 2 years, a trainer for the mindfulness program born at Google, an Integral Coach from New Ventures West, and an international mindfulness teacher trainer. He can be reached at [email protected]
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