We’re used to thinking about love as a kind of admiration for perfection. But there’s another side to what love should mean: tolerance for, and imagination about, the less than perfect sides of others.
“Modern ideas of love are strongly associated with admiration. To fall in love with someone is typically assumed to involve an awe at a person’s physical and psychological virtues. We may speak of having fallen in love with particular wit or intelligence, bravery or beauty. We think of ourselves as in love when we reflect on a rare creature who seems in a myriad of ways stronger and more accomplished than we are; our love seems founded on admiration…”